4 Simple Ways To Get Your Manager Talking

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One of the most challenging things in your career is getting a real understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. It can be powerful to identify your strength areas and lean into them. If I have learnt one thing over the years by observing amazingly talented people have a great career is that you spend just enough time to shore up your weakness, and more focus on your natural strengths or genius.

This article will help you gain awareness on where you are and areas you are doing well in and areas that might be your blind spots. A great source of this information is your manager but before launching into these conversation-starting questions. It would help if you warmed them up. 

You may also be thinking that you can't approach your manager because "They are too busy" or "I don't want to annoy them or give them the wrong idea". It is nice that you are selfless in these thoughts, but that has to stop. I am sure your manager is busy, but their role is also to progress your career so they will make the time for you if you ask.

To warm up your manager, use your version of the following statements. 

I have been in my role for X months/years now, and I have been reflecting on my journey so far. I have set a goal to take more significant steps forward in my career this year, and I need your help. 

I have a few questions that I will send in advance, that I am keen to get a deeper understanding on. Thank you in advance in taking the time to go through this with me.

If you have been trying to have conversations that have not progressed, this is the time to reset them. 

Below are four questions to ask your manager. You are providing your manager with the warm-up message a few days to give them time to prepare and not blindside them and put them on the spot.

One. Ask about your rating. In the shift to removing performance reviews, it has been harder to understand your performance rating. This sounds ironic with continuous feedback being the new preferred framework. The reality is there is usually a scoring mechanism behind the scenes. It helps issue remuneration increases, promotions, and who gets the extra training. Each system has its pro and cons, but this is less about the system and establishing a line in the sand. 

Asking if there is a performance rating and what your score is will help give you a benchmark. If your organisation doesn't have a system, then you can ask to be mapped against a 9-box performance/potential grid or a simple four points starting with does not meet expectations leading to exceeds expectations. We have all been caught out being optimistic when hearing the words 'you are doing well', only to miss out on something a month later. Getting an actual number leads to the next questions of 'what process did you use to score me that number' and  'what can I do to move into the next number'.

Two. Why did you hire me? When I was first asked this, I paused. As a manager, my first thought was 'isn't it obvious'. After thinking about it, I realised as a hiring manager, you were able to see all the candidates and rated their skills which lead to a hiring decision. You, as an employee, don't get to see which part of your skills stood out. Was it the answers to the questions? Was it your experience? 

Asking your manager to provide more detail on what stood out with you against the other candidates will give you insight on your strengths and what your reputation was coming in.

To go one step deeper, you can ask "Have I performed to your expectations so far". The answer will give you insights on if you are behind, meeting or ahead of expectations. You can drill in deeper again to get a good grasp of where you stand.

Three. What are you shielding me from? This question can be used when a situation is being discussed or outright. The value of this question is it permits your manager to open up. It tells them in a simple way that you want to know more, and you can handle honesty.

You want to create a safe space and remind them that you need to be more aware of yourself, and this cannot happen when things are being shielded. No sugar coating required—credit to Heather for challenging me with this one many times.

Once a safe space is created, you should discover a weakness or a perception that you didn't know existed. Both of these will give you a more rounded view and allow you to set a plan to move forward.

Four. What is my reputation in the leadership team? Your reputation is something you don't control. When you want to be considered for the next big project, the next leadership role or a step up in responsibility, your reputation will play a big part. Your manager will usually see and hear more things which will give you insights into this area. 

Having this knowledge will either give you an area to start focusing on or give you a surprise. If your manager can't answer this right now, you can ask them to ask and find out. You could also send around a 360 survey to get other leadership input. The smaller surveys seem to be more informative than 50+ question versions.

If the leadership team don't know you at all, it will make things more difficult if your name is heard for the first time when being put forward for something. It is more inclined to receive some scrutiny versus a name that they are more familiar with. By understanding your reputation and working to build a brand that leads to a widespread and positive reputation, it will benefit you in the long run.

This is harder when you are more of an introvert or prefer to be a quiet achiever. Asking your manager how they think you can improve your reputation without trying to become someone you are not comfortable with is a good start.

In summary, these four questions serve to act as both conversation starters as well as thought provokers for both you and your manager. When we are busy, a week can become a month and a year very quickly. Increasing your awareness and attention to areas that will give you the most wins is going to be the best use of your time. It will also give you the most career progression.

The idea of these conversations feels awkward at first and may raise some anxiety, but they are worth having to get the answers. The vital thing to remember is that you have put on a growth mindset, and you are seeking solutions to help progress you forward. 

Opinions expressed are solely my own and do not represent the views or opinions of my employer.