How to collect practical feedback from your manager

Photo by Henrik Dønnestad on Unsplash

Getting actionable feedback is critical in your career. If you don’t know specifics then how you can action a plan to improve? Remember feedback is not only to find out what you need to improve on, but it is also about identifying what you are doing well or your strengths are.

If you have ever heard “keep doing what you are doing” and walked away thinking what does that mean exactly. Or how about you “just got to be more like Jane/Joe”? It is not your manager's fault, they most likely don't know any different or experienced any different types of feedback themselves. 

Below are some tips that use better questioning to extract specific positive or constructive feedback. This will allow you to improve or double down on to keep your career goals on track.

One. Go and ask them, don’t wait for your manager to bring feedback to you each month. You can ask “how did I do on that call went this morning?”, when they provide an answer you can say “can you be more specific as I really want to understand what I need to keep doing/improve on”. 

Two. Ask questions that avoid a Yes/No response. Avoid asking “Do you have feedback for me?”. This can be answered with a "No, not today". Try asking about a scenario you were both part of “Yesterday in the requirements meeting I wasn’t sure if I handled the question around machine learning well, can I ask you how I could have handled that better” and you can follow with a “and what else?” If the answer didn’t give you a full answer. If your team runs anything like mine then your manager is not in 98% of your meetings. In that case, you can describe the situation, describe what the customer asked and what you responded with, then follow the same formula as the above.

Three. Extract a tangible action item. “You had a great approach in running that workshop yesterday”, this is quite a high level and you did 25+ things in the workshop. How do you know which ‘thing’ made the difference between a great approach and an average approach? You can ask something like “What did you notice that I did that would of made it great vs average?”. When they start breaking down smaller actions that made up the sum of actions that was called ‘the workshop’ you can start to identify specific things you did well. It could have been you had a clear agenda and steered the customer back to the agenda each time they strayed. It could have been the way you articulated one of the complex requirements with a great diagram. Your goal is to identify the specific behaviour and not a general comment.

Four. Go down another level or two. I recently told someone that they had leadership potential but they couldn’t see it yet. Their response was great “What do you mean?” followed with “How does that compare to not having potential?” and another few questions. It allowed me to explain my comment in more detail and allowed them to hear a fleshed out thought process behind the comment. If the questions weren’t asked they might have taken it on face value and not understood the qualities that were being noticed.

Five. Don’t get defensive. It is too easy to feel the need to justify your action or find evidence that your manager is wrong because they didn’t see you yesterday. There are a time and place to explain the other situation that you felt went well. Instead, ask more question to understand their intention behind the feedback, you could refer to yesterday as an example and a comparison that they can comment on. After all they could have not discussed it with you and you would never know what they are thinking. So best to take it in, ask the question and seek to understand what they mean.

Some examples of the same question asked in different ways straight from Trailhead (link)

Ask This - What should I continue doing that is working for you? Not working as well? Not That - What feedback do you have for me? (Too vague)

Ask This - (Share a specific situation) What did I do well; what could I have done differently? Not That - What am I doing wrong? (Too focused on the negative)

Ask This - What’s one thing I can do differently to better support you? Not That - Where am I doing a bad job? (Too judgmental)

Ask This - What’s one strength you see me use on the team? What about an area I can improve to have more impact? Not That - What criticism do you have for me? (Too negative)

I want to hear your worst and best feedback given by a manager. 

Note: Opinions expressed are solely my own and do not express the views or opinions of my employer.